The Alternate Answer To Our Prayers

When last we arrived at this web page, SK Morton, our intrepid goldbrick, had been desperately evading a pay check by launching a “Blog”.  When the quotation marks refused to ignite he simply reverted back to writing.  This lasted all of four entries and SK was spent.

Writer’s block can be devastating.  One 1885 account relates of an essayist, looking to cure his bout with the condition, resorting to plagiarism, ultimately attempting to shoehorn the entire 3rd act of King Lear into a dissertation on hereditary glaucoma. Many poets, hoping to attack the problem head on, have been known to take jobs with Six Flags penning acrostic name poems only to be further befuddled by monikers like Zhaden, Brix, and Zynique.   And even Eugene O’Neill was once so stricken with writer’s block that he considered abandoning his trademark narratives of disillusionment and despair.

I too have felt the plight. But now, the clouds of bewilderment have been burned away by the light of cliché and the despair of impotence has been cured by the pill of banality. Through a few choice paragraphs from the ground breaking internet article on content, “101 Title Ideas For Your Next Blog Post”, coupled with a random word generator and the hope that humanity has lost the ability to identify click bait, I would like to proudly announce a new series for, “I believe it was me who said…” : 101 ways to say nothing.

(1. How to ____.

First, we have a simple entry. “How to”. The blank here can be any process related to your industry. It could be how to solve a technical issue, like using the sidewalk single file vs. collecting would-be ASSASSINS directly behind you by walking THREE abreast. It could be how to learn a new skill, like breathing in through your mouth and out through your nose to avoid the malodorous bouquet of urine, pot, and Axe body spray. It could even be how to start, manage, become disillusioned with, panic about, and ultimately run into the ground, a business like yours. Because of the broadness of this topic, you’ll be able to choose high-level concepts, like “how to drive a car,” but the more specific you are, the better.)

Keep checking back for the 1st of 101 ways to say nothing:

How To Ride MUNI Like A Thoughtful Human Being